you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
