Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
