Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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