addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
