Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Randomize
