I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
