Rock
Scissors
Fuck
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
