drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
