i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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