Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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