Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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