New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
