This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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