I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
this beer tastes like vomit already
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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