This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Randomize
