My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
