You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize