Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
