your room smells of hookers.
And success
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
