There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
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