dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
