So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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