I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
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