a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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