The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
