Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Acid is not a monday night drug
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Randomize
