Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
