I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize