we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
