Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
my poor anus
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Randomize
