Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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