he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Damn victory sex feels great
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
