For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
