So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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