I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
