You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
