areolas are like halos for boobs.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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