Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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