he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
