my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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