If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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