just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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