We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Church boner. Awkwardddd
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Randomize