is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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