a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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