sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
