That's intense
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
