Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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