Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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