Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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