yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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