Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize