The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
