Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
