dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Life is so much better after having sex.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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