I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
