you guys were way drunker than both of me
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
