Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Randomize