You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Randomize
