I must be too annoying 4 u.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize