1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
